Anonymous asked: I am attracted to one of my housemates. We are all models living in a penthouse in New York and he has the reputation of being a 'player'. I can see that with the different girls he brings home every night but somehow I am still drawn to him. Lately he's been very.. destructive and a lot of my housemates don't know what to do with him. Actually, I don't think anybody really knows anything about his past for him to act this way. I have been trying to not believe what the others say about him being a bad guy. To be honest, I don't see him being a bad guy completely. I think there's something good in him. He finally opened up to me the morning after he had a drunken rage and trashed our penthouse pretty much. He was telling me how he used to be a heavy alcoholic and drug user and he had gone to rehab and came back out, but then his problem worsened and everytime he tries to be the 'good guy', people end up blaming him for his personality. He tells me he doesn't want to be this way but he can't change who he is... how should I help him?
Hey anon. This is one of the hardest advice questions I’ve received.
I’m strongly against changing people, but if you really need to help him.. Tell him he’s not a bad person, and that you see the good in him. If you’re attracted to him, you could get to know each other better. Take him out, have some fun. Maybe he’ll fall for you :) Once he does, he’ll realise there’s so much more out there. There’s a beautiful girl who’s willing to help him be better person. You can’t and shouldn’t change his personality, but you can change his bad habits.
Nobody understands him. You should all sit down and talk about it, with his permission, of course. If you discuss it, maybe they’ll understand why he’s like this, and they’ll cut some slack.
I’m sorry, this is all I can provide, and I hope it helps. I’m not very experienced with the whole rehab part. This is just my personal opinion of what you could do to help.
Anonymous asked: I have been single for 3 years now and I still haven't found a guy that makes me happy.
Aw babe, life isn’t all about relationships and finding the perfect person. I love being with myself. I actually loved being single. You don’t have to be dependent on a man to keep you happy, you have your friends :) Relationships get messy. Spend time with yourself and enjoy it while it lasts <3
Messages. My anon from last night.
I have a lot of anon advice/story questions. I will be taking screenshots of everyone’s stories.
If you remember this anon… click here for her first message and her second message
Anonymous asked: but the fact that he DIED because of trying to save me is the realistic point that I am getting here. I have never felt more scarred in my entire life to see the love of my life die in front of me, not even being sent to the hospital. No he died lying on the street in the instant the truck hit him. I blame myself every single day for causing his death, for being so stupid and not noticing that the truck was out of control, that the truck driver was waving frantically at me to get out of the way-even my boyfriend because he couldn't control his brakes. No I was just too STUPID to realize. Some people search their whole lives trying to find something real, well I've found something real and it's nothing that I can ever compare to anything else ever again. I've had way too many regrets and this was something that I completely regret. I have not been able to move on from him at all and it has been 1 year since his passing. Am I a horrible person?
Please don’t blame yourself! There’s a reason why everything happens. He saved you, because he loved you. If he didn’t, you would have been gone too. I know it must be really hard for you, but perhaps one day you’ll slowly realise there was nothing you could do about it at the time, it happened so quicky. And you will appreciate what he did for you. He died saving you because he loved you, and I find that truly sad yet inspirational. I’m so so so sorry. I know you’re not asking for analysis or pity. But you are not a horrible person. I completely understand why you can’t move on. He was your first and only true love, and no one could ever replace that. He will always be in your heart.
But you need to smile, keep your chin up, because you’re beautiful. He would never have wanted you to be unhappy for the rest of your life! Stay strong, and one day, you may find someone else who can treat you just was well as he did, or even better. It takes time to move on from someone you love, or once loved. Especially if they were everything.
“Never make someone your everything, because when they’re gone, you’ve got nothing left.”
When my ex broke up with me, I didn’t know what to do. He broke my heart too many times. But eventually I snapped out of it, I saw the light. I deserved better. (Completely irrelevant to your story) But my point is, we have to be careful when we put our hearts on the line. When the “love of my life” left me, he took away the better half of my heart. I’m trying to fill up my hole now, and slowly move on. Because I found someone who is willing to do whatever it takes to keep me happy.
You can do the same! Maybe not in a while, but give it about 3 years maximum, and you may start developing feelings for someone else. Your story reminds me of PS. I Love You. A really sad book and movie..
Just remember that you deserve to smile, and he NEVER would want to see you unhappy over him, or blame yourself. It will take time, but you might have to move on :( I’m horrified, and sorry for what has happened. We can never control external forces.
This story has struck something inside me. From now on, I want to pay more attention to my loved ones and spent every waking moment with them. I want to cherish everything, because you never know what could happen.
Please, do this for him.. be happy. He loved you and he sacrificed his life to save you just so you can live long enough to smile again, and love again.
Anonymous asked: I was in a relationship for 5 years before the most tragic thing could ever happened...and it happened to ME. This isn't some kind of open-ended analysis that I hope to receive from you, not anything with pity or sympathizing me. Rather, I read your About Me and felt like sort of ranting and at the same time I wish I could be as lucky as you that you still have that amazing guy in your life as a friend. I am currently 18 years old, turning 19 on April 11th and things have not BEEN the same. People say you don't know what love is when you're young. Sure, I am still young and still capable of learning and experiencing new things.. but I am certain I met the love of my life when I was 13 and obviously you're thinking "What the heck? What is she thinking?" Well I won't discuss our five year amazing and strong relationship because everything was definitley upside down. My boyfriend passed away in a tragic car accident when we were vacationing in Ireland and the fact that he saved me from getting mowed over by a car was the most heroic thing ever to witness..
Hey anon, I’m terribly sorry for your loss.. I know what it feels like to lose a family member, but not what it feels like to lose your true love. That must be so awful, I’m really sorry.
Love comes unexpectedly. I guess some people don’t even believe in love. People think it’s just a fantasy. How do we know we’ve been in love? It’s like an illusion. But even if it was, I have been in love. I believe in it, I know what it feels like. And I do believe that you can find him at a young age, some people know their soulmates for their whole lives.
My ex and I have been through a rough patch recently. I don’t know if we can be friends anymore. I really want to, but he told me it will hurt too much.
I cannot even imagine the pain you feel, and I wish there was more I could say to help.
I’m about to reply to your second message, one sec lovely.
Anonymous asked: hi ashleigh, i’m sorry for what i’m about to run by you but i have exhausted all other options, you know, i’ve just had enough. Basically i am sure i’m 'into' boys but i don’t know how to deal with it. nobody knows and it is eating me up inside. i do get with girls with the help of some alcomahol but it actually makes me feel pre sick. i wish i could be strait. so bad. but i can’t and i don’t know how or have any motivation to deal with it anymore. i feel like i am just at the end. i’m really hating life and nobody would ever even know as i just plaster on a smile.
Aww darling, there’s nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual. It’s actually pretty hot being bi. You don’t have to be straight to function in society! All sexualities should be accepted.
But if you really feel that bad, maybe you can just chill with the boys for a bit? Maybe you can date someone? Eventually you may or may not fall for them. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. Someday you will learn to accept that it’s a natural form of life :)
You don’t have to put labels on anything. Just be yourself and be happy. Who cares what sexuality everyone is anyway <3
Anonymous asked: it aint no prank sweety, i like can’t control it :( i don’t mean to offend you but yeah, if i saw you in the street i would have such a strong urge to attack you and steal your wallet. i don’t know what to do about it! i threw a cup of coke all over a fat black today, i couldn’t even stop myself.. ;(
You need to see someone. A school counsellor? It’s not normal, this is like mental uncontrollable racism :( I’m sorry to hear about it. I wish racism never existed.
asked: i need help! everytime i log off tumblr for like ten minutes i just find myself straight back on here, i cant get anything important done, do you have any idea what to do seeing as you managed nearly all night tonight?
I used to be like that! (Last week) But yesterday I just didn’t turn on my computer at all. I ended up cleaning my room, and I’m very pleased. After I answer my messages I’m going off to do my work :) You just have to not turn on the computer. Turn it off, it works :D good luck babe xx
Anonymous asked: This is for the anon, a couple of years ago I was pretty much a compulsive shoplifter, it got to the point where I just couldn't help myself, and I thought I would never get caught. Welll one day it happend, and a friend and I got arrested. I got driven to the police station, had a mugshot taken, and got put on a 5 year bond. I can honestly say it was not worth it one bit at all. Your lucky that you haven't been caught yet, but you need to stop now before you do. Please take this advice from someone who has been through it themselves. I wish someone had sent me this message 2 years ago, and told me to stop before it was too late. Hope everything works out lovely xxx
I’m very sorry to hear. :(
Anon 1, for a young offender, police can give a formal caution for a minor offence. Penalties for crime include fines, cautions, bonds, probation, community service and imprisonment, even home detention.
A good behaviour bond is a compulsory condition (such as attending certain places, counsels) that is imposed on the offender for a certain amount of time, in this anon’s case, 5 years. It’s not worth it having a little fun on the weekend to have a permanent record.
Thank you anon for sharing your story, it kind of makes everyone realise fun and games can come with a price.
So yeah, take this anon’s word of advice and stop before it’s too late xx
Anonymous asked: i need your help/advice
lately me and my friend have been shop lifting heaps and its getting to the point where i'm starting to get addicted, i honestly dont know what to do. and i cant really talk to my mum or anyone about it.
Wow, okay. Don’t shoplift, you shouldn’t hang around people who influence you negatively! What if you get caught one day? You could be fined since I assume you’re under 18, and depending on the restrictions of the shop. It will be recorded on your profile and when you get a job one day, you might not be employed because of your record. I know we’re young and we are allowed to live a little, but you have to consider how this benefits you in the long run. Is it worth it?
If you’re getting addicted, why don’t you take a break from the shops and just hang out and watch movies instead. Or get your mum spend it on you :) Get addicted into other things, like tumblr ;) I advise you not to hang out with people who influence you into doing bad things. One day you’ll regret it :\
Goodluck though, I’m sure you’re a great person, you don’t need someone to lecture you about that xxx
Anonymous asked: im the only single one out of my friends, im 16 almost 17 and ive never been kissed, never hd a boyfriend nd guys and girls say im attractive but no ones ever said they like me or that their interested. it makes me sad. the only times guys try stuff on me is when their drunk but ii dont let them cause i want it to be special i just want someone who cares about me but at the same time i just waant to know what a kiss feels like
Awwww babe :( That is very sad, you sound lovely. I gave my first kiss to someone I shouldn’t have. We “lusted” but it was never really true love. I thought it was love. I wish I saved it for someone more special.
Life is not all about relationships. You could enjoy being single :) you’re the flower of your group of friends. Let that be a special thing. I admire you for not doing anything with guys while under the influence of alcohol. I do believe your first kiss should be saved for someone special, because you will remember them.
If you want love, it will come in time. Maybe you’re not ready, maybe the right guy hasn’t come. Everything happens for a reason, so perhaps your Mr Right will enter your life later on in the near future. Don’t rush love.
I really admire you and adore you for waiting for the perfect moment.. trust me, it’s worth the wait.
Anonymous asked: my frd broke up with this guy for about three weeks.. but my frd is so in love with him that she cant let go..ytd was valentine's day.. she made chocolate for him. he said thank you.. my friend didnt know how to make a video.. but she spent like3hours to learn.. she didnt sleep at all.. she made a video and posted it on facebook, only he could watch it. he told my friend that she is annoying. they have been together for14months..my frd even lost her virginity to him..but he cheated on her, he was in a relationship with another girl since december. he even told her that he is going to be home at 11pm at the night on valentines day. he told her to
wait for him because he had something to tell her. my friend waited till 3:45. he didnt show up. he is such a dick to her. but she still loves him, and she told me that she will wait forever. but she is in so much pain:(
what can i do to make her feel better? what advice should i give her?
That’s very unfortunate, I’m sorry to hear. Tell her she deserves much better, and if she thought he was so amazing, can she imagine how amazing a better guy could be? I know she’s clinging on to him because she lost her virginity to him, but I think she needs to cut off all contact with him. He’s treating her like shit. Don’t let him walk all over her! She’s not a toy, or a walk over. She deserves respect. He’s a dickhead for cheating on her. If I was her, I would have already ripped out his reproductive system.
:\ no offense. Please protect her and let her know she’s never alone. xx
Anonymous asked: hey i need advice, so my two closest girl mates (kate & samantha) both hate eachother. tonight is sams birthday party which she is having at a club, i made the mistake of asking kate to come with me as she doesn’t really know anyone else that’s going (she was invited btw). then i asked sam if it was okay and she said no because she wants to go with me... what should i do?
Hey sweetie. You’re in a tricky situation. You have to choose between your friends. Kate was invited anyway, but she has no one to go with? I’m not saying you should favouritise, but since it’s Sam’s birthday, maybe you should take her to her own party? And explain to to Kate that you’re really really sorry but it’s the right thing to take Sam since it’s her birthday. If she was a good friend, she’d understand and wouldn’t take it too personally. When she shows up, you can meet her at the front door, then everyone’s happy :)
Anonymous asked: so its my birthday soon, and this festival happens to be on the same birthday as mine in melb :)
SO i want to go, and invite a few friends. and this happens in melb city. but if i invite a few friends i feel bad not inviting others... and i don't want to be a bitch.
i know this sounds weird. but i can't invite all of them because its too hard to organise and such... should i do this in secret sorta thing. iono, i hate organising for birthdays! this sucks balls.
Aww I’m sorry to hear! Don’t feel pressured to invite people you don’t want to. If they were real friends, they’d understand you loved if they came but also that you couldn’t bring a huge group. I don’t know if it’s a good thing to keep it secret. You’re probably going to take photos on the day. What if your other friends see it? They might feel hurt you didn’t invite them? I guess you could say it’s nothing special and you could do another gathering/party on another day :) xxx